Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
