so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
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