When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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