1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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