Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
