I just saw a hot homeless man
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
