At least make sure they are 18
Why
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Randomize
