In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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