The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
