Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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