for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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