I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
