if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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