Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm sobbing to NWA
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
