it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Randomize
