Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
