there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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