I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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