She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
