I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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