do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize