Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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