I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
