You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize