And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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