I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
