one might say we're banned from that church
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
