she was so not down for the gang bang
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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