No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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