did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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