this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
