OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
