no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
