we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
