I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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