My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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