Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize