Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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