i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
