i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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