Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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