i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
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I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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