Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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