I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
