I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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