Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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