I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
