just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
