How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
