he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
