i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize