DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
