"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
