do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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