its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
No I am not eating basil off your cock
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
