Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
where am i from again
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
