i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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