Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
