shes about as inviting as chlamydia
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
