Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
My cat gives me a boner
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize