my sisters under your porch take her home
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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