I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Randomize
