real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
