you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
