there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
