I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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