bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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