dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize