hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
