I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
do herpes really smell.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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