Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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