What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
