the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
