Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
