Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
