that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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