glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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