my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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