Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
