ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
