Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
