Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
