Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
