glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
