I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
